The closer and closer it gets to Summer, the more that I hear about “Beach Bodies” and the need to diet so you can feel your best in your swimsuit. This type of talk, of course, can really batter down your self-esteem: especially if you are a fat girl with little chance to actually fit into society’s antiquated beauty standards. So in order to combat that, I have decided to discuss how to do a little self-care that will definitely help to keep you positive. Especially when you are constantly bombarded with both active and passive fatphobia.
Cut Out The Negativity
First of all, I know that is not always possible. For some people, they just can’t cut out their entire family out of their lives. However, I do suggest that you should set boundaries with the family starting online social media and texts. Unfriend the negative people who are clogging up your social media feeds. If they get persistent about it, politely tell them that their online activity is stressing you out. If they really care about you, they should care that can’t handle the stress.
If they get persistent online block them.
Speaking of blocking, block all the trolls. I personally block first and ask questions later. Trolls can say what they want but you are allowed not to be subjected to it.
I personally have three friends and that’s it. And I like it that way. I have learned from hard experience that you need to hang on to your real friends and cut or limit the other friends. I know that it’s hard to hear, but as I said earlier the people who really care about will understand that they are stressing you out with their negativity.
I’m an internet junkie, it’s the most common joke about with my family. I always have my nose in a device. However, in this political climate, it’s important to take time away from social media and the news. On the weekdays I listen to a lot of political podcasts, but on the weekend I tend to stay away from them. It’s one of the reasons why I’m always to last to know on anything. If you can’t unplug for a day, then do for an hour or two. Read a book, go out to a movie, hang out with friends. Just step away from social media and your devices for a while.
I personally believe that everyone has the right to feel beautiful and sexy. I am a stay at home parent and it’s so easy to get so wrapped up in the kids that I will forget about myself. As the old saying goes, “You can’t love anyone until you love yourself”. Pampering yourself can be something as simply taking an hour to take a bubble bath by yourself or regularly get out the comfy mom uniform and doll yourself up. It can also mean just going out and shopping for yourself for once.
Occasionally pampering yourself is the perfect way to balance out all the negativity that especially fat women face from day to day. It will also put you in a better place to deal with all the responsibilities and hurdles you have to deal with on daily bases.
Find Your Tribe
It’s so easy to feel like your alone, especially if you are fat. However, the most liberating feeling is finding a group of people who are similar to you. They can often be your support network that is so crucial to have. And it doesn’t have to be a big meetup group, my support group are my three fat friends. I often go to them when my life is a mess and I need someone to talk too or if I need advice. I can personally say that my support group has kept me going during the darkest moments.
Know Your Limits
Finally, I have to say is to know your own limits. This might mean a bit of self-discovery, but honestly, I spent my twenties figuring out my limits. When I mean limits, I mean your triggers and your stopping points. I avoid people, places, and things that I know will trigger me.
For example, I don’t watch any of those fat shaming reality shows. I skip “The Biggest Loser” or “My 600-pound life”. I know from the jump that it will leave me in a bad mental place. I do that with all things in my life. I don’t watch things that are about rape, most horror movies, and things that will feature the death of LGBTQ+ people. I just say a hard no and keep on rolling. Knowing my limits have saved me a lot of grief over the years, so look inside yourself and figure out the things that bother you the most.
And those are my tips for fat self-care! What do you think? Do you have any tips that I didn’t list? Let me know me down in the comments!
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